I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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