ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
