I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
