Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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