Got a toothbrush?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize