Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
