How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
