hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
