He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think my mom watched the whole time
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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