Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize