I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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