Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
