garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My penis needs a shock collar
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
