Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Less talking, more tequila
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
