I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
