is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
