Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't deserve a penis
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
