I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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