I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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