would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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