I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
