How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize