i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
