Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
