Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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