Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
