dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
