Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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