I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
