C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
