Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
