used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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