I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
