We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
