do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize