Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The struggles of a small town man whore
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
