Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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