she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
