You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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