she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im six kinds of drunk right now
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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