Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
