i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize