omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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