just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
