The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
