okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
