my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
operation have a gay friend backfired
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize