if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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