take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
