mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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