I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
