Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
