i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
