Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
