Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
