Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
