Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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