lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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