Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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