The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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