I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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