I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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