i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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