Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
operation have a gay friend backfired
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
