ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she peed on how many people?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
