...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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