Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
